PORTLAND, Ore. (PORTLAND TRIBUNE) — The #MeToo movement has sparked debates on gender throughout the nation and here in Portland in the past few months.
It has made women feel more comfortable talking about their struggles with sexism and freer to point to the accused. In response to this new political pressure, schools and companies are having to step up their response, even if evidence of wrongdoing is limited.
For Jolenta Greenberg, it all started when she grew breasts.
It was the year 2000, and the smart, young and theatrical girl was a freshman at the prestigious math-and-science-focused Oregon Episcopal School in Southwest Portland.
Greenberg had gone to the private school since kindergarten and had done well, but all that was about to change. Her P.E. teacher’s misogyny, she says, kicked off years of self-doubt, self-harm and seeing that her value in the workplace was directly tied to her physical attractiveness.
Nearly two decades later, she says her decision to participate in the #MeToo movement by speaking out has been freeing. A simple tweet sparked OES officials to fly to New York to see her and to conduct an investigation into Joel Gray, her former P.E. teacher who still works at the school as an athletic trainer and adviser.
That investigation ultimately found Gray broke no policies or procedures and that no others had similar complaints. However, the school says it will look at updating its policies and has assigned Gray sensitivity training.
Now a comedian and podcaster in New York, Greenberg draws a straight line from the comments she says her Oregon Episcopal School teacher made to the sexual discrimination and harassment she feels she has repeatedly endured over the past 15 years, including from WNYC public radio’s John Hockenberry. (Hockenberry, the longtime host of The Takeaway on National Public Radio, saw an avalanche of accusations of sexual harassment and discrimination in the wake of his recent retirement.)
“OES set me up as a teen to believe I deserved poor treatment from men in authority positions,” Greenberg said, “especially if they disliked or were drawn to my body for some reason.”
The #MeToo movement — a phrase used by civil rights activist Tarana Burke and turned into a viral hashtag by several celebrities — has sparked a wide range of sexual assault and harassment allegations in recent months. Women say they now feel safer than ever talking about the suffering that sexism has caused in their lives — from unwelcome comments to rape.
Greenberg said finally talking about what she considers the root of her trauma has been difficult and nerve-wracking but also liberating.
“I literally feel different seeing myself in the mirror since talking about this,” she said.
Depression, self-mutilation
Greenberg said that, as her school’s P.E. and health teacher, Gray subjected her to four years of callous comments, unwanted touching and degrading remarks about her weight and attractiveness.
She was so affected by Gray’s treatment, she said, that she started cutting herself. She was so depressed that she didn’t get out of bed for the first two weeks of 10th grade to avoid seeing him. She avoided P.E. so much that she was nearly kicked out of the school when her lack of P.E. credits threatened her diploma.
Greenberg’s close high school friend, who declined to be named for this piece, also said she remembers her friend struggling and the hard time she got from the P.E. teacher.
“I recall the depression and the cutting, but was not aware that they were related to Mr. Gray’s comments,” the OES alumna said. “But in retrospect, any sort of demeaning comment made to an impressionable teenager would directly affect their self-esteem.”
The alumna said she was “shocked” to learn that OES still employed Gray. “My experience with him from 2000 to 2004 was poor, not only because of his insensitive comments, but also because he was simply bad at teaching.”
Gray refutes Greenberg’s account
Gray did not respond to requests to talk on the phone, instead providing responses to emailed questions through head of school Mo Copeland, who also enlisted help from the Portland-based Weinstein PR firm.
“As an educator for more than 30 years,” Gray wrote, “I cannot tell you how sad it makes me to think that I may have inadvertently done something to hurt one of my students.”
Gray said that body mass index was an important part of the curriculum back then and that it has since been removed.
“No, I did not ‘police’ Jolenta’s body,” Gray wrote in response to the Tribune’s questions about one of her allegations. “My goal then and now is to help all students see the importance of healthy behavior and physical fitness. I care deeply about my students, past and present, and would never intentionally do something to hurt them. I have never commented on a student’s attractiveness and would never do so.”
Greenberg disputes this.
“I didn’t know I had a horrible, undesirable body until he told me I did, over and over again,” she said. “And when he brought up how I should want to be in better shape to be asked out by boys and started bringing my sexuality into issues about my physical health, he crossed into that gray area of sexual harassment.”
School officials do not feel the term sexual harassment applies to this case.
“Nevertheless, we recognize that the alumna’s experience was deeply upsetting. OES takes seriously the emotional wellbeing and mental health of all our students, and we do not condone body shaming or other belittling treatment of our students,” reads a statement released by Deborah Pleva of Weinstein PR.
Gray did not respond to questions about the #MeToo movement. Critics of the movement, both men and women, point out that people’s lives, livelihoods and reputations can be ruined by complaints lacking in due process or evidence.
Copeland suggested that Gray can be unpopular in the math-and-science-focused school because he is in charge of making sure students fulfill the school’s policy on P.E. credits.
“We have heard time to time from students who felt that Joel lacked sensitivity around this topic,” the head of school said. “To our knowledge and according to our records, this is the first time in his career at OES that any student has raised concerns like this. We have no record of, and know of no complaint regarding, any allegation of ethical misconduct by Joel Gray.”
‘Child with a woman’s body’
Jolenta Greenberg’s mother, Suzanne Greenberg, said she is proud of her daughter speaking out and that she hopes it brings her peace. The elder Greenberg said that she grew up in an era when a woman had to let a man pinch their bottoms or make rude comments or else they were ostracized.
So she gets emotional when asked how the #MeToo movement has shaped her daughter’s revelations, allegations and the school’s response.
“I don’t think she would have been heard if it was two years ago or even a year ago,” she said.
Suzanne Greenberg, who now lives in Santa Barbara, California, said that it wasn’t until recently that she learned Gray’s approach so negatively affected her daughter.
“I think what’s difficult and unfair in life is that she was a child with a woman’s body. And men can’t deal with that. A lot of men. It threatens them,” Suzanne Greenberg said.
Jolenta Greenberg got a breast reduction in July 2002 from a G-cup to a C-cup. The surgery reduced her pain — both physical and social.
She said it was easier for her to feel confident after the surgery — and easier to run. In order to graduate, she paid a Multnomah Athletic Club trainer to be her coach and get P.E. credits that way, to avoid Gray.
Culture change
OES declined to state how much the entire affair has cost the school — from flights to New York, to hiring an independent investigator, to extra PR costs.
“We are not focused on cost,” Copeland said. “There is nothing more important to us than safeguarding our students and ensuring that they are safe and feel heard.”
Copeland also declined to provide the Tribune with a copy of the investigation or the executive summary. If OES were a public school, financial and investigative documents would be subject to release under Oregon law.
Greenberg initially demanded reimbursement of her tuition in compensation, but has since relented. She now says she just wants OES to make sure nothing like this happens again — to ensure that #MeToo leads to a real culture change at the school instead of lip service.
According to OES’ student-run newspaper, many members of the class of 2016 signed a letter admonishing the school’s inconsistency in responding to allegations of harassment and bullying.
“… We are unsurprised at how increasingly apparent it is that a culture of sexism and misogyny exists at our school,” reads the letter, as quoted by The Dig.
Copeland said her school “does not tolerate issues of harassment, bullying or other misconduct.”
The head of school added that she, too, feels accusations like Greenberg’s are being taken more seriously in the #MeToo era.
“Of course,” she said. “The #MeToo movement has allowed individuals to feel they can speak up and finally be heard, and this is a positive change.”
The Portland Tribune is a KOIN media partner.